Okay, gang, here goes nothing. I am attempting a redo of the lost post which I tragically deleted as I was writing. This time around, I'm going to save by paragraph because, that's, you know, the smart thing to do. Before we get going into this absolute roller coaster of a day, let's do some positives and negatives as the evening has settled. Positive: I finished a book, caught up on some podcasts, and lounged around in my pajamas all day. Negatives: Jax, our very old, very sweet, but very deaf dog, decided right in front of. my desk would be a great spot to take a nap. It was fine until I actually needed to do things and he just would not move. I left the room, I yelled loudly. I gestured. Nothing. This dog would not budge. So then I brought my laptop to the living room and of course as soon as my mom came home for lunch, he got up. I chipped a tiny corner of my manicure on my thumb and the annoyance I feel is so over the top but I just can't help it. I have no clue when I did this and it's just enough for my to notice but not enough for me to call my manicurist and ask her to fix it. Major issues going on over here, guys. Oh, also, I didn't make coffee this morning and have been perpetually tired all day. I don't know why I do this. I need coffee to function but at least once a week I'll be like, "Nope. No caffeine today. Only water." Spoiler alert: there was no water consumed today either. Now my left hand is doubly tight and I want to fall asleep before 7pm. But here I am, ready to push through for all of you because this day is too funny for me to keep to myself.
Allow me to take you back to last Thursday, August 10th. My day started when I gained enough semi-consciousness to untangle myself from my blankets, feel around for my phone, barely lift my eye mask. and see it was barely past 7:30. Back to bed! Though, not for very long because a morning doctor's appointment was on my schedule. My dad was the one taking me and I never really fell asleep-asleep so I heard most of the business calls he took that morning. I swear, I've never seen the man not answer the phone on the first ring. We were in the car a few weeks ago and he took a call but got another one that he kept declining. This person kept calling and then finally just texted "call me". Lots of calling but anyway, what you need to know on this particular occasion is that my appointment was at 10 am and he was taking calls up until 8:50. Yes, I remember details like this. My dad then opens my door (very annoyingly and aggressively, might I add) and tells me he's going to take a quick shower. Key word here is "quick" alright? I'm thinking at most this'll take ten minutes because my father, as long as I have been able to retain memory, has had the most minuscule amount of hair in the history of mankind. That and he really has no clue what a descent shower skin care routine is.
I hear the lovely docile tones of his morning sports radio cast. It is, of course, blaring because he can't hear it otherwise and then I have to bank for fifteen minutes instead of ten because of that wonderful radio cast that makes me want to jab a pencil in my ear. I'm sorry, but that is just not how I like waking up in the morning. I like quiet but if I want to listen to music or a podcast, there are these wonderful things called AirPods that allow you to listen at your own volume preferences without disturbing those around you. Moving on. (insert pause for breath and also so I can maintain what is left of my rapidly crumbling mental state while I recap this day) THIS MAN ENTERS MY ROOM AT 9;30!!!! I had gotten into my wheelchair from my bed because I can do that now and pull out the first thing I see in my closet while berating my FIFTY-TWO YEAR OLD father on his lack of time management. Yes, Matthew. I am calling you out. But I'm your favorite and very prepared to g0 against you in a battle of wills so there's nothing you can really do to phase me.
AND FOR THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE....
Mom took the wrong car to work. I love her but man, the brain-to-action connection really just flopped on this day. Normally she drives the van to work because I am allergic to interacting in the world and therefore, never leave the house and my dad has his work car. It is like, a quarter to ten and I am stressed because there's a schedule to keep to and we are failing at it. As I'm brushing my teeth, I am informed that the van isn't home. All we have is my dad's short Subaru. My chair weighs three hundred pounds, is at least four feet tall, and does not break down. The irony is not lost on me. The wheelchair accessible car is not available for use by the wheelchair-bound person. So, long story short, I had to swap chairs to go to this appointment and then we drove to my mom's office to switch cars. All's well that ends well. Almost. We still had to go home and get my regular chair and also pick up Ashley. I thought it would be done in that order but apparently not! I was holding the back of the drivers seat in a vice grip because this chair is very light, has no seatbelt, and my dad like to take corners very sharply. Let's just say that I was especially glad to finally be in the chair that is substantial and has a seatbelt. But my dad did get us breakfast once we were all settled so yay! Also, sidetone: did you guys know that Smokey Row has energy drinks? They're not on the menu anywhere except the main location but they're taped to the windows at all the other spots. Seems like a counterintuitive marketing technique but you do you Smokey Row. On to the state fair!
This year, we went on the first day hoping to avoid the big crowds. We were actually able to park on grounds which is a small miracle, The three of us walked around before we were desperately in need of AC so next we ventured into the Varied Industries Building. If you've never been to the fair, this building's sole purpose is to sell you things. We walked through all the booths and then went to the livestock barns. I don't typically go through the barns but my dad is very much the "this is the plan and there are no other options" parent so I went into three barns! I did survive and I will admit that it was cool to see the largest cow and pig of the year.
I finally tried fried Oreos this year and my honest review is that they're good but I don't think I need to have them again. My dad tried a grilled cheese-mac and cheese-brisket-bacon sandwich. It was good but he could only finish half. It was a shocking moment in my life. Then we walked through all the antiques where dad and I kept freaking out at finding vintage four-foot tall Darth Vader statues. The last things we did included walking through the dollhouse exhibition and finally, for the first time in years walked right past the butter cow. A very successful trip!
And would you look at that?? I made it to the end without deleting my work! I was right about to this point the last time so don't worry; I immediately pressed the save button. I hope you enjoyed my summer story time! I can't believe we're so close to back-to-school. Maybe on my next post I'll be coming to you live from my....dorm room?? Ahhhh!
Note: all jabs were made in good fun.
The Blog in a Nutshell
Hi! Welcome to Fashion Fun and Extra, a blog run by Caroline Hill. A wheelchair user, podcaster, little sister, writer, and more, Caroline's unique view on life allows readers to take a glance into something they don't experience everyday. Told with humor, realness, remarkable wit, and a special kind bluntness, no blog will fail to entertain!